Love means an interior and spiritual identification with one’s brother, so that he is not regarded as an “object” to “which” one “does good.” The fact is that good done to another as to an object is of little or no spiritual value.
–Thomas Merton
It is a good thing when people do good things for others. When asked why they do it, many might say “because it’s a nice thing to do” or “I’m a nice person”. This is a flimsy reason for doing anything and, worst of all, it completely relies on a person’s willingness to do a “nice” thing. In other words, if I don’t feel like being nice today then I’m not. If I do feel like being nice and I am “nice” then hurray for me, I’m a nice person.
But you see the problem. All of this niceness relies on one’s will and one’s mood at any given moment, rather than emerging from reason. Nice-ness, being nice, is unreasonable, an irrational whim of the human heart. So, what seems nice is not nice, it’s a convenience, a self-congratulatory stroking of one’s own ego. Niceness does not come from any universal value. It is entirely ego-based. Egotistical pandering.
Instead of talking about “being nice”, I want to change the argument to “doing a good turn” for a moment, just for a different way of talking about this. Suppose that doing a good turn was not being nice in the sense described above. Suppose that doing a good turn was a requirement, a law, or a command, something expected of one.
What happens when we think of it this way? Suddenly, we are not doing a good turn or being nice based on our mood, our ethic, our state of mind, or some general sense that “it’s nice to be nice”. Suddenly, our good turn ceases to arise from the ego and is nothing to be congratulated for.
Jesus asked his followers over and over (John 21:17) “Do you love me?” and when they affirmed their love he said “Feed my sheep.” This is a command, not a request. So, being nice is not nice, it’s egotistical and one does it for the wrong reason. Christ tells us to take care of one another, and Buddha doesn’t expect a pat on the back when He does a good turn. It’s what’s required. Period. Nothing nice about it.
* Here’s more on this subject from the NIV translation of Matthew 6: “
Giving to the Needy
1“Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
5“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. “
